Comments on: Question: I Can’t Find a Husband… Should I Just Give Up?

By: blessing obibi

blessing obibi — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 19:30:31 +0000

I went through your mail & I would like you to know that I am looking for a Godly woman like you for a true family oriented relationship that is based on Godliness,respect for one another,sincerity,faithfulness, &loving you for whom you are.
I am a born again christian since 1982 & has God first in my life daily in all my doings, so, pls, if you are interested in my request, I would be happy to read from you.
I am living & working in Senegal though am not from here.
Pls, do note that this message is nothing but a serious one & has nothing to do with game playing nor any evil minded reasons.
Thanks.
00221/76/882/00/55

By: Daniela

Daniela — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 14:37:45 +0000

I how I can relate to this longing for a husband! When I was 26, I was still hoping it would happen before I turn 30. Well, I’m 38 now, and how do I wish it would still happen before I turn 40! Anyway, the Lord has taught me many valuable lessons during all these 15+ years of being His born-again child. There are many opportunities I wouldn’t have had if I had gotten married 10 years ago, and I’m thankful for the Lord’s leading. But I feel soooo ready to get married now! In fact, I just about getting to know a young man who seems to be very young in the faith; who had a conversion experience not too long ago, but who is not baptized yet. Shall I go for this opportunity? There is no way that I will lower my spiritual standards for marriage, i. e. a firm foundation with common strong beliefs, as well as the husband being the spiritual leader. Right now, I’m haning on to hope with each new contact I make, but of course I don’t want to get married out of desperation. However, what shall I do with my desires for a companion? How shall I quench my sexual longings without falling into the sin of masturbation again? It’s really tough sometimes, but I can only give everything to the Lord, and ask Him to fill the gap now – and to help me to strengthen my relationship with Him who is my Heavenly Husband!

By: Ibonne

Ibonne — Sun, 30 May 2010 06:32:37 +0000

God wants you to be content with what you have, as long you are not living a sinful life. There are advantages and disvantages of being married. Being married takes a lot of work and commitment because of human imperfection. married people has to deal with hardship and troubles and pain sometimes. Being single has advantages and disadvantages. Remember “the grass always look greener onthe other side” Many married people wish to be single again. Yes , sometimes it is nice to think that somene admires you, loves you and cares for you.
I think sometimes wishing to be married or to have a soulmate is a fantasy that we built and exist only in our mind that we are supposed to be fulfilled and happy everafter once we marry our soulmate. I believe that is a fantasy; married people strugle a lot and are not always happy. I believe you can be happy and be fulfilled being single, take all the good things of being single and enjoy it, learn to enjoy your life regardless of your status, pamper yourself, learn to love yourself.
Life is made out of choices, we choose to either be content or be unhappy.
I f you choose to feel disatisfy with your present situation then you loose, that will not bring you a husband and you waste away time that you can be enjoying. Ultimately it is normal sometimes to feel down, but do not let that feeling to become a permanent situation. If God has someone for you in the future or not, there is nothing you can do about it, but to be content with what you today, but for now be obidient to God, he knows the desires of your heart and it is in his will he will give you a husband, but please do not let that consume you. You should make God your first priority and how to please him. I believe God prefers to hear prayers than complaints. A prayer with a humble heart is more likely to be heard by God, than a proud heart that is telling God what is best for you. Do not make God laugh. You do not want a husband that is not in God’s will, it will make you misarable. Learn to trust God. God does not give you more than you can handle. i am sure God has many things in store for you, but if you are so fixated that the only way you can be happy is by being married then you may not see all the blessings around you. Open your eyes and count them one by one and praise God, Amen.

By: Ibonne

Ibonne — Sun, 30 May 2010 05:45:30 +0000

It is natural to want to be married, to have someone to love and to love you back.
In the Bible you will find these words:
Love God with all your heart
Put God at the center of your heart
Walk in obidience.
It is natural to feel dissapointed and angry at God for not giving you a spouse, but life has trials, temptations, and hardships.
God tested abraham with his son, and found Abraham loyal. Abraham waited until he was very old to see Gods promises of having a descendants.
If you really believe in God then you know there is an afterlife in heaven. Do not put all your hopes in these earth because is vanity and will pass. Sometimes I believe God will hold what you desire the most because in that he will test your faith in him. whether it is a husband, wife, money, posessions, prestige, power.
Friend if you make “finding a spouse your first priority” then God is second. God does not take second place. Pray hard if you really hurt about not having what you desire most, so you ndo not get tempted by the devil and let the hurt take you out of the path to walk in God’s way.
I know is hard, but God test people in fire and then you come out like gold. Remember always these. God if perfect, is in control, and ultimately God is God and he blesses the ones that love him and are loyal to him. You should be loyal to him regardless of your pain. trust him. God wants you to trust him, that is faith. do not question God is he has not provide a husband or wife for you, you should trust him, I do not know why neither do you, but that is when faith in God plays a important key in his walk with him. When you hurt pray, cry to him,not for a husband but for faith and obidience. God will bless you, he has so many ways to bless people. Pray for peace and in your soul, pray for him to give you joy in your life. What I say is not easy, but to choose to be bitter and desperate for a husband or wife is probalby a way of time and energy, concentrate all your feelings to God, and keep praying. At the end what it matters is how we handle our emotions in reference to our christian life. God will rewrd you one day. Be like a warrior, fihgt agaisnt the sadness and feeling of hopeless. Be a prayer warrior it will bring you closer to God. Remember Cain he did not know how to handle his feeling of envy towards his brother and commited sin, instead of accepting Gods sovereigity.

By: Jane

Jane — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:02:26 +0000

Well, I want to be a wife and mother. I have lived a pure life, but have never had a boyfriend. Now my time is up. God has denied me the chance for motherhood. How could that be what’s best for me, or right for me. it’s a natural, womanly desire. And he deson’;t even give me the consolation of a husband

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:15:12 +0000

good article; especially the line of advice:
Does something in your life need to change first?

I have seen this not only with myself, but with many other people. For example, I know a nice looking Christian lady in our singles group who constantly complains about never being on a date or finding a man…yet she weighs around 300 lbs and continues to overeat and not exercise. Sometimes we just need to wake up and realize the problem is our self and ask for help if necessary.

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 04:02:36 +0000

I’ve been single my whole life
everyday never been on a date
watching others listening to engagement details in
college, I feel beyond left out
I can’t have kids and heard 1000 too many

maybe god… Well maybe not to everyone of those
maybes and no apostle Paul I disagree
with u and don’t care what you thought
1000 + years ago
god has no one for me
i was told god called me to be single
hmm a complete stranger said that
No he did not
I have never heard gods voice
that’s how I know
Also to the people who remarried
you do know the bibles stance on divorce
and remarriage
sure you met someone
and can give god credit
bur that doesn’t mean god took it
or provided that spouse !!!!

By: admin

admin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:25:21 +0000

Edith,
No, I would not give up. God gives us the desires of our heart as we walk in faith. I’m not sure what your faith has to do with though. Your faith is in the saving grace of Jesus Christ to rescue you from your sinful condemnation and an eternity in Hell. Our faith is not leveraged or dependent on any circumstance in this life. Millions of people have endured much worse than not finding a spouse. MUCH WORSE. So don’t hang your faith on this issue. In fact, it could be that mindset that keeps it from happening. Pray for a spouse. Ask God. Have faith. Accept His will. There are plenty of available older men. God knows who they are. Brent

By: Edith

Edith — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:17:09 +0000

I am a 56 year-old woman. I am single. As a child, as a teen, as a young adult, as an older adult, in fact up until about eleve years ago, I was sure I would find a man who could be my life-long friend, lover, and “partner in crime.”

Then I realized that every relationship I’ve ever had, except for one in my pre-Christian days, ended in rejection of me. The one that didn’t end in rejection of me ended in rejection of my boyfriend because he wanted to live together and I did not.

I have fallen in love with men who decided they were gay, with men who were not Christian, with men who were Christian but who were obviously not interested in me, and with men who were Christian and interested in me but not enough to pursue a serious relationship. Over the years, I have heard people say that I scared men off because I was too intense, too smart, too tall, too loud . . . I have heard people say, “You never know what God has in store,” but at age 56 I know this much: I am beyond the ability to have my own children; I know that, though the Bible says it is better to marry than to burn, that is no guarantee of anything; God has no problem with letting people burn for years and years. Doesn’t mean he’s cruel; it just means that God has the right to do what he wants to do in people’s lives.

I have been through Christian counseling. I have dealt with “family of origin” issues including alcoholism and denial of my molestation at age seven by my best friend’s father. I have become aware of the effect on most if not all potential relationships of my selfishness and unrealistic expectations.

I have come to realize that, for quite a number of years, everything I thought God wanted me to do to prepare myself for a husband and a family was stuff that did the exact opposite, isolating me from other people, especially a potential spouse, and teaching me to despise every good gift that God has given me because they didn’t fit stereotypes of the cookie-baking, apron-wearing cute, tiny, feminine Christian wife-in-waiting that still haunts churches today and makes life hell for women who will never fit that mold but still have a lot to give.

It is clear to me that any potential husband I might have had in the past thirty-seven years of being a Christian . . . well, he’s either married now with grand-children, or he’s gay, or he’s a confirmed stalwart Christian bachelor.

And I, having realized that I have nothing to offer a man except the selfishness of years alone and the unresolved fears of my childhood, have STILL not been able to put to rest the desire for a husband.

So I say to you now, having passed through my dreamy twenties, my determined thirties, and my yearning forties . . . I can’t find a husband, should I just give up?

And if I should just give up, how, how, how do I do it without losing my faith?

By: Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:47:32 +0000

I’m almost 31. Never been married. I know exactly how you feel! I know the ache, the desperation, the sadness…but I wouldn’t trade it for a husband 5 years ago. The reason? I would’ve made a horrible mistake had I married any of the men that came into my life at that time. They weren’t born again, and they were not God’s best for me. I am now in a relationship with a Godly, born again believer which will hopefully result in marriage. My advice–carefully pray about the advice Brent has given you, and trust in the Lord. Don’t fall away because He hasn’t answered your prayer yet. (I did in the past and I will always regret the time I lost)