A reader asks:

My nephew wants to honor the death of his cousin (my daughter) with a tattoo on his arm, using a picture she drew before she died. I know he means well, but I would think a tattoo wouldn't be pleasing to God and a defacement of his body. (My husband has old tattoos that he regrets.) But what should I tell this 18-yr-old?

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I wouldn't couch it as "pleasing to God" because there is simply no definitive New Testament command against it. If we cannot show someone clear and direct Scripture about a topic, then it does no good to declare our opinion of it a matter of being "pleasing to God".

As Christians we need to have some discernment. We often mistake our heartfelt opinions and convictions as being dogmatic, and black-n-white Scriptural mandate. We simply can't understand why other people don't see it as clearly as us.

For example, I can dogmatically tell someone that adultery is wrong (1Thess 4:3-5). I can tell someone dogmatically that getting drunk is not pleasing to the Lord (1Cor 6:10).

There are also clear principles that cover specific situations not found in Scripture. For example, movies are never mentioned in the Bible. We can definitively say that going to X-rated or vulgar movies is wrong based on principles of morality, Godly communication and not getting joy from wickedness. However, to state that going to ANY movie is sinful, is simply going beyond Scripture, no matter how deep your personal conviction may be... same thing with all dancing, all drinking, all smoking, all piercings or getting "I love my Momma" tattooed on your bicep.

Is all dancing wrong (dancing with my wife on the beach at sunset)? Are all piercings wrong (ears too)? Is all smoking wrong (an occasional pipe or cigar like Spurgeon)? Is a glass of wine wrong when the Bible only condemns drunkenness?

Why are we so convinced that our personal convictions on things of liberty and conscience should be LAW for everyone else?

As for this tattoo issue, I realize that some people may have very strong convictions based on Old Testament or Levitical prohibitions... or maybe based on the "your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" principle (1Cor 6:19). Given these principles, arguments can be put forth against tattoos, piercings, smoking, bad eating, bad hygiene, lack of exercise and a myriad of other things that cause us to have less than optimal health.

Who gets to decide? One person says smoking and tattoos are wrong, but pierces their ears and is overweight. Another person pierces their ears but says any other piercings are wrong. Another says piercings, tattoos, smoking, drinking are wrong... and is 60 pounds overweight because of a lack of eating discipline. Another person is convicted that smoking is wrong but immodest piercings and suggestive tattoos are not.

See what I mean? No one can keep a perfect list, and if they do, they simply become prideful and legalistic. Does this mean we have NO standards and just "don't bother"? NO!!!! It means that each of us follow our own convictions and God's leading in these matters of personal choice and discipline. We can't know what part of a person God is working on. He may not be convicting a Believer about smoking because He is working on a much deeper and more serious moral issue in their life. God may not be worried about a tattoo on someone's arm when He is more concerning about the gossip in their heart.

That is my primary point in this answer. We need to be careful when we say "not pleasing to God." We need to be able to back that up with PLAIN Scripture when we make that declaration. Or, we need to say, "here is my personal conviction, based on these Biblical principles..." then proceed to show them the Scripture, and explain why we hold that opinion.

Once we take any matter of liberty and turn it into binding rules for others, we have crossed over into LEGALISM. It takes a mature and discerning Christian to not mistake their personal convictions of liberty for dogmatic doctrine. We often take our convictions about clothing, entertainment, personal habits, schooling choices, worship preferences, etc and elevate them to binding doctrine by stating that our personal convictions based on a Scriptural principle is "the obvious truth" and everyone else should be able to see it the same way. Sorry, liberty doesn't work that way.

Given all that, I would communicate to your nephew WHY you think tattoos might not be pleasing to God (the message it could send, the honoring of God's temple [your body], the type of people and activities that are sometimes associated with and the regret he may have later) but I would never couch it as a de facto "sin". Leave the door open to allow God to bring a conviction about it one way or another.

I would have him talk to your husband, and other men who regret their tattoos... and I would implore him: "wait 90 days. You are putting something PERMANENT on your body. You are feeling strong emotions right now. Give yourself 90 days to think about it, and if you still want to then, at least you'll know you didn't do it impulsively."

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I believe you'll go a LOT further in teaching him and helping him mature by taking a mentoring approach rather than a rebuke approach based on your own personal conviction.

In closing, and this comment will get me lots of emails, a tattoo is not going to send someone straight down the road to hell. It may have absolutely no detrimental effect at all. It might be a lesson learned, it might be a future regret, it might be a silly mistake. All in all, God uses our choices to help us grow and teach us lessons.

Tell him your concerns, but if he goes ahead with it, DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. God is quite capable of still loving and fathering someone who does something that WE think they shouldn't do.

This should be our approach to all matters of personal convictions and liberty when we feel someone is making a mistake. If God leads you, tell them your concerns, in love, THEN BUTT OUT. I'm pretty sure God can handle it.

(Note: lest you think me insensitive, I convey my personal sympathies to this reader in a private email about the death of her daughter).

I rarely recommend books, and even more rarely label them a “must read”. My “must read” list can be counted on one hand probably.

With summer on the way, and then a new batch of kids headed off in the Fall to be indoctrinated… er, educated… this is a good time to let you know about one “must read” book I am mentioning in my email tomorrow from SeriousFaith.com.

75% of all college students question, deny or renounce whatever faith they have while in college because of the rabid anti-God, anti-Christian propaganda and pressure that college academia inflicts on them. Here are starry eyed, immature minds with (typically) precious little REAL knowledge of their faith who get PUMMELED by professors, atheists, skeptics, liberals and evolutionists for 4 years.

You should REQUIRE each of your student-aged kids to read the book I’m going to mention. I actually PAY my kids to read and study this book, then answer a set of “test questions” I wrote before going to college (or, more accurately, before I will help PAY for any college).

It covers in logical, step by step order (without using the Bible as the authority or proof) why God exists, why the Bible is authentic, why Jesus is real, and why Darwinian evolution is not only a completely unsupported theory, but in reality it is a RELIGION. It is my opinion that you make a serious mistake not preparing your college students to be able to fend off this attack. Oh, and if you think that going to a "Christian" college protects them from this, THINK AGAIN. The questioning of the simple accuracy and inerrancy of Scripture is only marginally better on average at Christian schools. You ignore this reality at your child's peril.

This book gives a logical, easy to understand layout of the evidence for our faith in God, again, without relying on the Bible as it's 'proof'.

We all trust someone or something. Most people trust themselves.

We all trust something or someone. Most people trust themselves and their own intellect/wisdom/desires. As Christ-followers, we learn to trust God and His Revealed Word as far superior to any alternative. We come to accept by default and without question that the Bible and Godly wisdom are transcendent and superior to human or personal wisdom/understanding.

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Is this simply "blind faith"? Hardly. We have overwhelming reason to trust God, trust His Word and have 100% confidence in our choice to depend totally on Him. If you find yourself unable to articulate these reasons, the book I am talking about in this post is: "I Don't Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist" by Norman Geisler and Frank Turek.

Don’t let the title throw you. It’s not a book about refuting atheism. It’s a book about logically evaluating the evidence for God, the Bible, faith, miracles and Jesus… thus requiring a person to have more "faith", BLIND faith, to claim to be an atheist. It should be REQUIRED reading for all Christians, especially students about to enter the antagonistic world of college academics. This is the book that humanist college professors HATE because students who read it are no longer intimidated by their “authoritative skepticism” (code word for anti-Christian bully).

I hope you’ll check it out and get a few copies for your kids, family and friends. Again, I rarely make such a recommendation, but can hardly be too emphatic about the need for students to read it, and every Christian for that matter.

What are your questions about this?

There is an email circulating asking if Time Magazine should apologize for its cover image of the Marines of Iwo Jima raising a "green tree" rather than an American flag.

I say NO.

This whole culture of "apology" we have nowadays is worthless. Apologies are only issued when it is determined that it is either politically or financially expedient, or both. There is no sincerity, there is no authenticity, nor is there any real contrition. Nor does an apology divorced from true change of heart, and resulting action, mean SQUAT.

Whether its apologizing for slavery (which is purely politically motivated), or politicians apologizing for yet another insult or politically incorrect goof, or a celebrity apology for yep, some politically incorrect joke... these apologies are spin control and self serving... nothing more. Notice the primary motivation: political correctness.

Is the TIME cover an insult? You bet. Is it outrageous, dishonoring, inappropriate and another example of liberal mental disease? Absolutely. It's TIME magazine being TIME magazine. Big surprise. (another reason why expecting or asking for an apology is silly... TIME is just being what they've always been)

And... they shouldn't have to apologize. This is America. They have the right to publish that CRAP because of the men who died raising the real flag, on a real hill, in a real war. Those Marines secure the First Amendment for us all, including TIME magazine (maybe TIME and the liberals need to remember that the First Amendment is for conservatives and Christians too)

It is a complete insult to compare or associate that military sacrifice with a made up, politically motivated, QUACK HOAX like "global warming"... excuse me... "climate change" (that way we cover ANY type of weather, not just warming).

No apologies... let them feel the natural force of real "climate change": let the climate of the free market and lost customers warm them up. But that of course would take conservative, God-fearing America to ACTUALLY quit patronizing TIME magazine instead of just causing a ruckus, then returning to business as usual (which is the typical result when Christians get in a fit about something).

Let me finish with this question: do you know why TIME magazine can get away with this? Because there are enough Americans who still buy that rag. Do you know WHY McDonald's is a major contributor to

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This whole "apology" and "outrage" thing we see today is just "show" and while it may make us feel a little better because we got "mad", in the end it means virtually NOTHING because we don't actually do the one thing that will make a difference: hit them in the pocket book.

How do I know that's true? Because all these companies keep right on doing these things, and they WOULD quit if it was costing them enough. Follow the money folks. It's always about the money. These companies don't care about the "cause"... they focus on whatever issue they think will make them popular and cause people to spend money with them. It's always about the money.

A reader asks:

What do parents do when their adult daughter has a child, and then resorts to stripping for a living, is on drugs and alcohol, leaves her husband to live with another man, and loses her Faith in God? We have tried everything!

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I continued to be somewhat amazed and definitely saddened by the unending stories of young ladies throwing their life away. It is truly a statement about a society when even the women are engaged in a pandemic of destructive, immoral behavior.

I can't even begin to tell you all the stories I get about teenage and twenty-something girls who choose dangerous, destructive and plain stupid lifestyles. Drugs, alcohol, casual sex. Lesbianism, promiscuity... 18 year olds shacking up with 40 year old men... 21 year olds demanding complete freedom to "party" while practically blackmailing their parents for financial help under threat of doing even worse, or cutting off the relationship. I seem to get an endless stream of accounts of young ladies making life miserable for their entire family in the selfish pursuit of personal indulgence.

While there have always been exceptions to the rule, we are now seeing the results of several successive generations parents and children who have turned away from God, embraced worldliness, accepted substandard levels of sexual purity, been indoctrinated by feminism and "personal rights", and grown up with parents who have had their ability to discipline properly stripped away for fear of being labeled "abusive".

But... here we are. God has principles and answers for all times and needs so there is NEVER a reason to despair. I do not speak to you in CONCEPT or platitudes.... I've been through some VERY tough family situations myself, not to mention the countless times I've discussed and advised others for the same. So what I'm about to say is most certainly OPINION, but it's not uninformed or unseasoned opinion. There are no magic answers, but I do have a few things that I've learned.

First, it is very hard for good parents to accept the fact that there comes a time when your children become SOLELY responsible for their choices, and life. In America, we have this artificial "age of adulthood" at 18, when sometimes-still-foolish teenagers decide they want to ruin their life... and legally they can.

That's a reality we have to accept at whatever age a rebellious adult child decides to give us the proverbial "finger" and trot off down the path of destruction. You had to grow up. They have to grow up.

Does accepting the fact that they are "adults" make it any easier on parents? No. Does accepting the fact that we can NOT control them make it easier? No. Does realizing that we have to allow them to "grow up", even if it's the hard way, make it easier? No.

However, as Christians we are NOT to despair or worry. How is that accomplished? Simple answer, hard to accept and rest in:

God is in control. He really is. This single fact when believed and acted on allows us to relax. It's still hard to watch our kids self destruct, but think about it... who do you want TRULY responsible for them: YOU? Or God?

God is infinitely capable of caring for a wayward child. You have to truly believe that and embrace it. I like to think of Moses being carried off to be raised in the most decadent and Godless society imaginable. Yet, God had plans and was fully capable of bringing Moses back to Him.

It is hard for parents to accept that our kids grow up, and THEY have to make the choice to serve God. THEY DO. Not us. And sometimes they do NOT. That's just the reality. No amount of stressing, anxiety, manipulation, anger, threats, tricks, lectures or tears can FORCE a child to choose God. We must allow GOD to draw our kids to Him.

Many Christians come to God via a hard path. We just don't want it to be our kids but sometimes it is. If you have a wayward child, pray that they will end up with a GREAT story of God's saving grace NOT a great story about how YOU twisted their arm until they straightened up. That doesn't mean we aren't firm, unwavering and even tough... but it means we rely ultimately on God and not our own machinations.

We are commanded not to worry or be anxious. Ever. About anything. Including wayward children. God didn't give us that command without understanding every situation we might encounter. So don't worry. Don't fret. Don't stress. Don't.

God is an infinitely better PARENT that we could ever hope to be. So to worry, fret and labor to "fix" your child (going past your parental obligation; more on that in a minute) is to either not trust God's ability, or to elevate your own parenting skills over His. So what are the obligations of parents towards are young adult children (wayward or not)?

Pray for your children. Pray for their salvation. Pray that God will allow them to suffer enough they will want to change. Pray that people and circumstances will come into their life that will help them see the light.

Set an example for them. Continue to live a consistent and courageous example for them. Don't waver, beg or give into any deception or manipulation. Even if it takes several years, maybe decades, never let them see your faith wane, or your love for them falter (don't confuse "love" with "weakness" or passive approval).

Give them Godly, wise advice when appropriate. Some people will say "never give unsolicited advice". I don't agree with this when it comes to our children, even our adult children. I think the wise and prudent parent will learn the appropriate time to "butt in", and when to wait patiently. The butting in will be the exception, but there are DEFINITELY times when it is called for especially in the youthful rebellion situation.

"Butting in" does not mean nagging, lecturing or beleaguering your child with relentless hounding, accusations and pointing out their every indiscretion. This will only drive them from you emotionally and physically. However, even though your advice, unsolicited or not, will be met with resistance, if you give it in love, calmly and succinctly, it will "plant" inside them and hopefully bear fruit down the road.

Do not enable them. I hate psychobabble but not "enabling" your child means not doing things that help them further their destructive lifestyle. It might be helping them financially while they do drugs or shack up with someone. It might be rescuing them from their poor choices rather than letting them feel the pain and take personal responsibility for the consequences. Many parents mistake "unconditional love" for an excuse to not say "NO!" when "no" is the right answer (pleas for money, accommodation or acceptance of bad behavior, etc.). Weakness fools us into thinking "I'll just drive them further away if I don't help them".

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Many parents enable their wayward adult children because the kids "guilt trip" them, manipulate or deceive them, or simply because the parents don't have the backbone and courage to say "NO!" and allow the child to either 1) suffer the painful consequences, or 2) descend even further into their destructive circumstances. Sometimes it is necessary to let your child hit ROCK BOTTOM before they are ready to genuinely change directions. Sometimes the best thing a parent can do is ask a Loving God to make the rebellious child's choices so painful, they will turn from them. This is a hard but brave choice for Godly parents at times.

To the reader: pray for her, be an example of Godliness for her, do not enable her in any way. At this point, quit "trying everything" and trust God to parent/protect/preserve/restore her.

Readers, what do you think? What would your advice be? I'll post this on the forum so we can get some group input. You can find it on the forum here...

Hey, did you hear the one about the fighting Christians arrested by Jews in a place guarded by Muslims?

Joke? Nope. Real life.

Religion has become so “religious” that I can’t decide whether this story is outrageously funny, or outrageously sad.